Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Risky Business (#TBT)



Dating is risky business.
My friend, V, is a big risk taker.

For the past year or so, V has been seriously, zealously, aggressively looking for love… And she has become an active and consistent presence on the dating scene.

Like most women, V started out with a very specific list of the necessary criteria- the usual things- very tall, extremely fit, looks exactly like Tyson Beckford, great sense of humor, plays three different sports, went to college (on a football scholarship), has at least two post graduate degrees (on full academic scholarships), cooks well (from edikanikon with periwinkles to chocolate croquembouche), gives good massages (and willing to do so every night)- plus big house, big car... and of course, big money.

As time went on and V got slapped around by reality, the list changed (as it always does) to- “taller than me”, okay body, okay face, educated (“standard six” will suffice)… but of course, big money.

Recently, it had gotten pretty rough and tough out there and the list had been further narrowed to- not too short, not too fat. But anyhow sha- still big money... There were just some things that V could not compromise on.

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Queen of Beatness



MrVLP never stood a chance. From the moment he first encountered InstaBaddie711, he was defenseless. She came in with guns blazing, firing on all cylinders- an absolute vision. She came in like a wrecking ball. He succumbed to her charms almost instantly.

This first encounter occurred, of course, on Instagram. Because as you know, that’s where everything goes down. Given her selfies-posted-per day-stats, it was evident that she was vain. But given her bust-waist-hip stats, it was evident that her vanity was warranted. If vanity could be justified, InstaBaddie711 justified it. She had full lips, dimples, almond shaped eyes, long lashes, flawless skin and an amazing figure. She also had a MAC contour kit, Ben Nye banana powder, a waist trainer, a Samsung S6 edge camera with the beauty face mode and Valencia, LoFi and Nashville. So no, MrVLP never stood a chance.

Just one moment after the moment when MrVLP first encountered InstaBaddie711, he slid into her DMs.